In times when its hard for me its much more helpful to be around people who are also going to help me be strong in my fight!
I don't care about what others are eating per say or what their doing… (I've had to get use to that)
But its emotionally draining to be around others when I am fighting a battle in my own head about food and then no one else cares about it.
It’s a head thing, its weird because I don't exactly know how I feel just know I am not way motivated. When I am around other people in my life who are struggling and they just throw all of the hard work out the door and sor tof give up, I feel it too.
I've started to become a little unglued in my inspiration of losing, I think it has to do with not having a loss in over 2 weeks. I am not saying I need instant gratification but when I am doing what I am "suppose" to and not losing it drains on my own self esteem. I think it might be too that its that time of the month right now so I just want to eat as opposed to being ok with what I've got...
Maybe the fact that I haven't written anything down over my food issues...that's been bothering me!
I have been "fine" and now I'm not. When does this process fix it self. When does my mind catch up with what I am doing and when does this stop being so hard?
Showing posts with label working out. Show all posts
Showing posts with label working out. Show all posts
Friday, April 20, 2012
*Results not Typical
*I want to be a asterisk!
If your like me you have done many weight loss programs. Usually when starting any weight loss program or even eat whichever program's food, it has a warning label attached, or maybe not so much a warning per say but a message stating they don't guarantee you results. Hence
*RESULTS NOT TYPICAL!
I've been "on" WW's for 2 1/2 years now. In that time I have been really close to being more then 100lbs lighter then my heaviest. I imagine I am actually more then 100 pounds lighter but back at my largest I didn't really weigh myself. But for WW's starting weight I have only lost 98 at my highest lost.
I've been wavering back and forth about 10 pounds for 1 year now. I am fitting better into clothes compared to last year and my fitness level is better but for some reason I can't break into that <*> category!
I have some sort of block, laziness, mind issue that just seems like I don't care or want to get under that magical #...
So I joined the gym again, since I haven't been hiking as much as I once was to justify not joining the gym again. Plus looks like the weather is starting to get icky so may as well get myself back into the habit of getting sweaty with everyone else.
Training for a 1/2 marathon and while I train I need to also lift weights and do other types of cardio and I think being a member of 24 hour fitness (you know the chain gym, the McDonalds of gyms) is going to help me achieve this.
I'll keep you all posted, yea whomever you are who actually reads my twisted sense of weight loss!
If your like me you have done many weight loss programs. Usually when starting any weight loss program or even eat whichever program's food, it has a warning label attached, or maybe not so much a warning per say but a message stating they don't guarantee you results. Hence
*RESULTS NOT TYPICAL!
I've been "on" WW's for 2 1/2 years now. In that time I have been really close to being more then 100lbs lighter then my heaviest. I imagine I am actually more then 100 pounds lighter but back at my largest I didn't really weigh myself. But for WW's starting weight I have only lost 98 at my highest lost.
I've been wavering back and forth about 10 pounds for 1 year now. I am fitting better into clothes compared to last year and my fitness level is better but for some reason I can't break into that <*> category!
I have some sort of block, laziness, mind issue that just seems like I don't care or want to get under that magical #...
So I joined the gym again, since I haven't been hiking as much as I once was to justify not joining the gym again. Plus looks like the weather is starting to get icky so may as well get myself back into the habit of getting sweaty with everyone else.
Training for a 1/2 marathon and while I train I need to also lift weights and do other types of cardio and I think being a member of 24 hour fitness (you know the chain gym, the McDonalds of gyms) is going to help me achieve this.
I'll keep you all posted, yea whomever you are who actually reads my twisted sense of weight loss!
I am a slacker...
Its been way too long since I sat my happy butt down and wrote in here. With my facebook account I feel like I say just about everything so no need to do the whole "blog" thing anymore.
Well not really. I mean I never talk about my weight on FB. Well not usually. I am so lost right now, Unmotivated! I'm working on it. I read another ladies blog its called Cranky Fitness. She cracks me up. I recently read an old blog post of hers about motivation. That its a job to get yourself back there. Yep thats how I feel. Like every time I am getting back into the swing of things I just do something stupid to fall back in my same routine.
A few days ago I signed up to do my 2nd 1/2 marathon. My friends were kind of giving me crap about spending the money to do it. All I was thinking was why would I be worried about the money if it gets me back into the frame of mine I need to be in. That is PRICELESS in my opinion. Its hard, I don't know how some people in WW's get so far with hardly any set backs. I mean there was a change in me. I want to be different and process things differently but its just been a rough road this last few months.
So yea signed up for a 1/2 marathon. I am hoping to actually run most of this. I mean my last I walked almost all of it. I walk pretty fast on average, but I know I can do way better!
Need to get some of this weight back off my body so it will be easier for me to actually run.
Wow its been a long while since I wrote.....
It has been too long. But you know every now & then you relapse.
Went to my WW meeting and last nights topic was support. How to ask for help.
I think Ive been doing so much better (and I've said this before) when most of everyone around me is trying to accomplish the same thing.
Like it still iterates me to some degree when I'm told don't want to hear about all the WW stuff.
It's like are you kidding me. Its part of me. How can I not talk about it. Plus almost my whole group of friends, we need to start talking about it. Not nessaryily about WW's but fitness & health and eating better.
We're not all in our 20's anymore and if we were concerned about each other then we do need to talk about.
-I know there's a differance of forceful and just talking about it.
-I know not everyone is like me but I think a lot people feed and drive off others. Studies show if your around people who care about their health and want to take care of themselves eventually it starts to wear off. I mean the obesity in my group is something we could work on, something we should work on.
Sometimes just like everyone else its like oh I don't care. I can't!
Awhile ago my friends saw me going down that path again, the one I was on before. They started seeing destructive behaviors in me that I use to have daily. *With food & fitness.
ME being Unhelpful to myself.
*Eventually I started to see. Telling myself "I have lost all this weight, I can't revert to my old ways and just watch myself lose control."
Sometimes it takes a friend to help you take a step back.
I know I can't worry about everyone else… I need to focus on myself and my family. Even though I consider my group family, its tough - I can't wrap myself up in what people do or don’t do. Its really hard.
All I can control is myself. And what I choose to do.
My Husband is helping me be the person I want to be it's so incredible
Ok omg I am going to start crying. Thinking about how supportive my man has been is just... hard to explain.
That time of the month you know more emotional then usual!
This weight loss thing is a trip... a long journey of learning.
Everyone's different.
I don't think I will ever be able to change my worrying but I try. Preventing an untimely death, I mean you wouldn't continue to watch someone drink & drive, or abuse themselves with drugs... or at least I can't.
My dilemma of the month!
Went to my WW meeting and last nights topic was support. How to ask for help.
I think Ive been doing so much better (and I've said this before) when most of everyone around me is trying to accomplish the same thing.
Like it still iterates me to some degree when I'm told don't want to hear about all the WW stuff.
It's like are you kidding me. Its part of me. How can I not talk about it. Plus almost my whole group of friends, we need to start talking about it. Not nessaryily about WW's but fitness & health and eating better.
We're not all in our 20's anymore and if we were concerned about each other then we do need to talk about.
-I know there's a differance of forceful and just talking about it.
-I know not everyone is like me but I think a lot people feed and drive off others. Studies show if your around people who care about their health and want to take care of themselves eventually it starts to wear off. I mean the obesity in my group is something we could work on, something we should work on.
Sometimes just like everyone else its like oh I don't care. I can't!
Awhile ago my friends saw me going down that path again, the one I was on before. They started seeing destructive behaviors in me that I use to have daily. *With food & fitness.
ME being Unhelpful to myself.
*Eventually I started to see. Telling myself "I have lost all this weight, I can't revert to my old ways and just watch myself lose control."
Sometimes it takes a friend to help you take a step back.
I know I can't worry about everyone else… I need to focus on myself and my family. Even though I consider my group family, its tough - I can't wrap myself up in what people do or don’t do. Its really hard.
All I can control is myself. And what I choose to do.
My Husband is helping me be the person I want to be it's so incredible
Ok omg I am going to start crying. Thinking about how supportive my man has been is just... hard to explain.
That time of the month you know more emotional then usual!
This weight loss thing is a trip... a long journey of learning.
Everyone's different.
I don't think I will ever be able to change my worrying but I try. Preventing an untimely death, I mean you wouldn't continue to watch someone drink & drive, or abuse themselves with drugs... or at least I can't.
My dilemma of the month!
Hiking and my love, hate relationship
Like any form of exercise sometimes I just have a battle. Its mind versus body! The battle of oh if I get up now and just do it, I'll be done. It will be over.
Yesterday I signed up to go hiking with a group and was contemplating up until the very last minute on whether or not to actually go. I keeping think well if you go to the gym ah you only have to be there for like an hour. Then my brain is like but its so nice outside. Then I thought oh you love to hike... its the best feeling of accomplishment. (You know there is nothing like climbing over these hills, up & down and all around then looking across the canyon and seeing where you had once been)
Am I totally strange or what. It seems like everything inside me constantly battles over what or what not to do.
DOES others feel like this?.... UGH!
~ So I ended up going hiking. I at the last minute told myself to quit acting lazy and get my butt ready and go. I dragged my husband along. He wasn't reluctant or anything but he said I told him he didn't have to the night before. Hhahah I think I was watching tv when he asked.
Anyway I didn't think I would be gone too long. I knew I could choose to do 4 miles or sometimes they tacked on an extra loop which added about 2.5 more miles so a total of about 6 1/2 miles. Normally no longer then 2 1/2 hours.
So you know what I put in my pack.... AN APPLE! Thats it. I thought I would be good.
~ At the cut off people where waiting for me. I was the caboose and thank heavens for a supportive husband he stayed back with me the time. When I know he could have walked so much faster. His legs have gotten so strong since we started exercising regularly. Well he's always been strong but now he's getting in really good shape!!!
Anyway I felt good. I was actually feeling those "endorphins" they talk about which push you on. SO when asked if I wanted to do the extra 2 miles I said sure.
WELL collective group who continued on decided oh lets go this way... I wasn't up by them when they decided this little maneuver, when I got up there they said we're going to take off on this path... its new to us.
Ok so when I noticed the name of this trail I was like hmmm honey this trail is one we usually take from the otherside of the park. We hike from another entrance of this same park and I recognized the name. I was thinking omg we're going to hike over to almost the other side of the park. I didn't think that though until we were about 1/2 way there.
Sorry to make a long story sort of shorter we ended up adding 4.5 miles to this hike. My total hike was just about 8 1/2 miles for the day. It took just about 4 hours.
Needless to say I was starving. My apple was not as satisfying as a sandwich or other food could have been. Thank goodness I have some other emergency items in my pack. I ate this jelly, type energy thing I got from a 10k I did. I had to I needed some energy.
I was running out of water... I was struggling. I started to get cramps in my legs in the weirdest muscles. It was a very exhausting hike for me.
I wanted to quit. But you know what you can't... the thing about being on a hike which is sometimes good or bad. Your out on a trail you can't just get off a machine or in 10 minutes oh the class will be over and you can just leave now.
I feel like I over came an obstacle yesterday afternoon. the questioning I have about myself. As to what I can accomplish... about what my body can actually do.
NOW I do think though next time I am bringing more snacks and definitely more WATER!!!
OH and I say bring on the 1/2 marathon I am READY! I am going to get a better time then my last. I don't know excatly how much slogging (slow jogging) I will get done in the 13.2 miles, but I do know I can do better then last time!
Yesterday I signed up to go hiking with a group and was contemplating up until the very last minute on whether or not to actually go. I keeping think well if you go to the gym ah you only have to be there for like an hour. Then my brain is like but its so nice outside. Then I thought oh you love to hike... its the best feeling of accomplishment. (You know there is nothing like climbing over these hills, up & down and all around then looking across the canyon and seeing where you had once been)
Am I totally strange or what. It seems like everything inside me constantly battles over what or what not to do.
DOES others feel like this?.... UGH!
~ So I ended up going hiking. I at the last minute told myself to quit acting lazy and get my butt ready and go. I dragged my husband along. He wasn't reluctant or anything but he said I told him he didn't have to the night before. Hhahah I think I was watching tv when he asked.
Anyway I didn't think I would be gone too long. I knew I could choose to do 4 miles or sometimes they tacked on an extra loop which added about 2.5 more miles so a total of about 6 1/2 miles. Normally no longer then 2 1/2 hours.
So you know what I put in my pack.... AN APPLE! Thats it. I thought I would be good.
~ At the cut off people where waiting for me. I was the caboose and thank heavens for a supportive husband he stayed back with me the time. When I know he could have walked so much faster. His legs have gotten so strong since we started exercising regularly. Well he's always been strong but now he's getting in really good shape!!!
Anyway I felt good. I was actually feeling those "endorphins" they talk about which push you on. SO when asked if I wanted to do the extra 2 miles I said sure.
WELL collective group who continued on decided oh lets go this way... I wasn't up by them when they decided this little maneuver, when I got up there they said we're going to take off on this path... its new to us.
Ok so when I noticed the name of this trail I was like hmmm honey this trail is one we usually take from the otherside of the park. We hike from another entrance of this same park and I recognized the name. I was thinking omg we're going to hike over to almost the other side of the park. I didn't think that though until we were about 1/2 way there.
Sorry to make a long story sort of shorter we ended up adding 4.5 miles to this hike. My total hike was just about 8 1/2 miles for the day. It took just about 4 hours.
Needless to say I was starving. My apple was not as satisfying as a sandwich or other food could have been. Thank goodness I have some other emergency items in my pack. I ate this jelly, type energy thing I got from a 10k I did. I had to I needed some energy.
I was running out of water... I was struggling. I started to get cramps in my legs in the weirdest muscles. It was a very exhausting hike for me.
I wanted to quit. But you know what you can't... the thing about being on a hike which is sometimes good or bad. Your out on a trail you can't just get off a machine or in 10 minutes oh the class will be over and you can just leave now.
I feel like I over came an obstacle yesterday afternoon. the questioning I have about myself. As to what I can accomplish... about what my body can actually do.
NOW I do think though next time I am bringing more snacks and definitely more WATER!!!
OH and I say bring on the 1/2 marathon I am READY! I am going to get a better time then my last. I don't know excatly how much slogging (slow jogging) I will get done in the 13.2 miles, but I do know I can do better then last time!
Friday, November 28, 2008
I didn't make it...
So my goal of logging in and posting something every day, well just didn't work out. OH WELL! I can try again next month right!
As long as I don't give up on my WL goal is what matters. My migraines have been come and go so that wasn't the problem.
Guess I just didn't know what to log in and write abott.
Lets recap what's happened since last week.
Over the weekend I went to Reno w/friends. It wasn't a planned trip and it actually happened while talking at dinner Friday night. Vegas came up in the conversation and all of sudden it turned into...
Lets go to Reno right now. It was fine and a good idea since I was going to have to be home alone all weekend. Steve was driving his dad to AZ. So I was happy to take my mind off Steve not being home.
So Mat & Laura, Norman & Lisa and me piled into his SUV & took off.
Monday I went to the gym...yea not so newsworthy but in fact it kind is. I haven't been in like 2-3 weeks. So well it was a big feat to get me back in the gym. Then its started the keep on going chain reaction.
I also went on Wednesday with Jen. We even stayed working out for an hour and a half. I don't know what got into me. Um maybe the fact I want to kick start losing weight again. I have sort of been stalled the last 2 months. Partly because I went to Jamaica and that threw me all off track and there isn't anything harder then trying to get back the motivation. (I think you have to have weight issues to really relate)
Thanksgiving which was yesterday was nice. I slept in a little and woke up with no headache in sight. I decide to head the gym since I found out they were open till 2pm. I also thought if I go to the gym I will not feel bad having some bread & butter with my dinner. I was surprise to find so many at the gym. I guess others had the same idea :)
For dinner Steve and I went to Black Angus - they had a Thanksgiving special. Now don't feel sad for me because this was the best scenario ever... I didn't have to cook & have all kinds of left overs. As much as I love being around family there is nothing as tempting in the world then just stuffing yourself all day on food. (Again I think you have to have weight issues to understand) I know for most people it would be like "well just stop eating" but yea it doesn't always work for me. & especially when I am around all my family. Last year during the holidays I had to put my foot down more then once.
* Partly because I have struggled with my weight my entire life and I know Steve's family has seen me @ 230 pounds before only to gain it all back. They have seen me at my highest weight of 325 too. So to them its the holidays and its ok "for 1 day, why not" Its hard to explain that 1-2 days can turn into weeks for me.
Last year I was very focused too. This year it was soooo nice to not have any pressures.
Steve and I also went to the movies last night...its a family tradition to us. Has been the last 11 years. We seen Four Christmases. I don't think it was that great. Guess because I was expecting something a little different.
Which brings me to this morning!!! Well I am off to go hiking :)
As long as I don't give up on my WL goal is what matters. My migraines have been come and go so that wasn't the problem.
Guess I just didn't know what to log in and write abott.
Lets recap what's happened since last week.
Over the weekend I went to Reno w/friends. It wasn't a planned trip and it actually happened while talking at dinner Friday night. Vegas came up in the conversation and all of sudden it turned into...
Lets go to Reno right now. It was fine and a good idea since I was going to have to be home alone all weekend. Steve was driving his dad to AZ. So I was happy to take my mind off Steve not being home.
So Mat & Laura, Norman & Lisa and me piled into his SUV & took off.
Monday I went to the gym...yea not so newsworthy but in fact it kind is. I haven't been in like 2-3 weeks. So well it was a big feat to get me back in the gym. Then its started the keep on going chain reaction.
I also went on Wednesday with Jen. We even stayed working out for an hour and a half. I don't know what got into me. Um maybe the fact I want to kick start losing weight again. I have sort of been stalled the last 2 months. Partly because I went to Jamaica and that threw me all off track and there isn't anything harder then trying to get back the motivation. (I think you have to have weight issues to really relate)
Thanksgiving which was yesterday was nice. I slept in a little and woke up with no headache in sight. I decide to head the gym since I found out they were open till 2pm. I also thought if I go to the gym I will not feel bad having some bread & butter with my dinner. I was surprise to find so many at the gym. I guess others had the same idea :)
For dinner Steve and I went to Black Angus - they had a Thanksgiving special. Now don't feel sad for me because this was the best scenario ever... I didn't have to cook & have all kinds of left overs. As much as I love being around family there is nothing as tempting in the world then just stuffing yourself all day on food. (Again I think you have to have weight issues to understand) I know for most people it would be like "well just stop eating" but yea it doesn't always work for me. & especially when I am around all my family. Last year during the holidays I had to put my foot down more then once.
* Partly because I have struggled with my weight my entire life and I know Steve's family has seen me @ 230 pounds before only to gain it all back. They have seen me at my highest weight of 325 too. So to them its the holidays and its ok "for 1 day, why not" Its hard to explain that 1-2 days can turn into weeks for me.
Last year I was very focused too. This year it was soooo nice to not have any pressures.
Steve and I also went to the movies last night...its a family tradition to us. Has been the last 11 years. We seen Four Christmases. I don't think it was that great. Guess because I was expecting something a little different.
Which brings me to this morning!!! Well I am off to go hiking :)
Monday, October 13, 2008
Life score 7.8!!! Above average :)
| This Is My Life, Rated | |
| Life: |  7.8 |
| Mind: |  6.5 |
| Body: | 6.8 |
| Spirit: |  8.4 |
| Friends/Family: | 6.9 |
| Love: | 9.1 |
| Finance: | 8.8 |
| Take the Rate My Life Quiz | |
Monday, August 25, 2008
33 has came & gone...
So on Friday my friends & I got together and had a little cheese party. Hahah I say little but actually there were 18 cheeses for tasting. 2 of them however where in a fondue. I had brought the bread, crackers, apples, pears & grapes all to eat with the cheese. There were 7 of us in all who ate the cheese but 9 of us in total present. Wendy she hates cheese...yea she is crazy or deranged haven't figured it out. Marcella well she wasn't feeling quite well enough to eat the cheese her stomach has been bothering her.
So in theory my friends were to bring 1-2 cheese a piece. But instead 2 of the friends brought the most! It was like they got really into this. I loved it though, had a blast.
On Saturday I went on a nice hike...killer hike to work off the cheese from the night before. It was a great goal of mine and I hadn't done that much of the whole park before. It was WONDERFUL!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)