Thursday, November 19, 2009

Fat Pics & Pregnancy Update


27 Weeks & 29 Weeks
Ok so not much is showing but you can tell I am getting fat. Especially in my face. I am pretty sure my face is the pregnancy and my stomach is just there for convenience.


30 Weeks. Not much changed except my hideous complexion and my new pooh bear cheeks.


33 Weeks. So you knew Avery could not go this whole time and resist taking naked pictures. I left out the porn shots. They are worth money and I don't need those porn companies knocking on my door making offers... seeings how I am so hot right now.


37 Weeks. Oh..there she is! She finally decided to show up mmmmbout 3 weeks before the due date. I was tempted to crop my face out of this one but I guess it can be recorded that pregnancy makes some people hideous for a second. I actually gave up trying to look remotely decent. I stopped looking in the mirror about a week ago. So hopefully these are the last pregnancy pics I will take. I am also hoping to deliver early as she has dropped completely into my pelvic girdle and is making it difficult to walk around. Doc said the baby's head is "one knuckle" in!!! Yikes. Does that mean she can just swim out with the breakage of my water? I've seen it on TV and TV never lies.
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In all seriousness, we are getting pretty excited and nervous at the same time. I actually think the anxiety about labor has settled in. Is there a drug that makes it so you can leave your body and then be able to stand in the room and become one of the cheerleaders? Kinda like an out of body experience? Oh...that's right, its called CRACK. Ok, I guess I will settle for the epidural martini with a local skewer to garnish. This is not an after dinner party people! This is life in it's most gruesome beauty.
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Wish us luck! (or at least me because we all know Avery will be in the corner with his DS volume muted and giving me the courteous "you're doing great baby, keep it up. Just let me know when I can cut the 'unbiblical' cord.") ;) I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW AVERY!