One more thing I want to share...

I am an auntie again! My newest nephews name is Sean Edward. He is shown here in a picture after being born w/ Emily on the left & Sarah on the right. His birthday was the 26th.

Wow its been a long while since I wrote.....

It has been too long. But you know every now & then you relapse.
Went to my WW meeting and last nights topic was support. How to ask for help.

I think Ive been doing so much better (and I've said this before) when most of everyone around me is trying to accomplish the same thing.
Like it still iterates me to some degree when I'm told don't want to hear about all the WW stuff.
It's like are you kidding me. Its part of me. How can I not talk about it. Plus almost my whole group of friends, we need to start talking about it. Not nessaryily about WW's but fitness & health and eating better.
We're not all in our 20's anymore and if we were concerned about each other then we do need to talk about.
-I know there's a differance of forceful and just talking about it.
-I know not everyone is like me but I think a lot people feed and drive off others. Studies show if your around people who care about their health and want to take care of themselves eventually it starts to wear off. I mean the obesity in my group is something we could work on, something we should work on.
Sometimes just like everyone else its like oh I don't care. I can't!

Awhile ago my friends saw me going down that path again, the one I was on before. They started seeing destructive behaviors in me that I use to have daily. *With food & fitness.
ME being Unhelpful to myself.
*Eventually I started to see. Telling myself "I have lost all this weight, I can't revert to my old ways and just watch myself lose control."
Sometimes it takes a friend to help you take a step back.

I know I can't worry about everyone else… I need to focus on myself and my family. Even though I consider my group family, its tough - I can't wrap myself up in what people do or don’t do. Its really hard.
All I can control is myself. And what I choose to do.

My Husband is helping me be the person I want to be it's so incredible
Ok omg I am going to start crying. Thinking about how supportive my man has been is just... hard to explain.
That time of the month you know more emotional then usual!

This weight loss thing is a trip... a long journey of learning.
Everyone's different.

I don't think I will ever be able to change my worrying but I try. Preventing an untimely death, I mean you wouldn't continue to watch someone drink & drive, or abuse themselves with drugs... or at least I can't.

My dilemma of the month!

Over the River and Through the Woods

Nyla went to see Grandma for Mother's Day this year. The ride there was something I may never do again they way I did it. Cadence and I both decided to drive there alone (with no husbands), with our babies together in the back seat. What is suppose to be a 5 1/2 hour drive ended up being a 9 hour drive. When one baby was sleeping, the other was crying, hungry, or needed to eat. Overall, we made it there alive and had great timebut it literally felt like we had to go over the river and through the woods to get there.. The babies loved seeing their grandma and grandpa and great auntie Glo. We went for a bike ride through Ogden River Parkway and just relaxed together. Not a long stay but worth it.

These are Melissa's kids (Mike's daughter). They are Nyla's cousins Scotland, Jackson, & Kierra. They are the goofiest kids I have ever seen. Hilarious.

Auntie Glo

Grandmother

I have been thinking about my grandmother today. She died February 14, 2008. What a great day to be reunited with those you love. My grandmother is amazing. We used to get in the car and travel the 2000 miles every other summer to see her and our cousins. I remember she always had candy for her grandkids set out so we could grab and run at anytime. She was an amazing cook as well. I loved her banana nilla wafer pudding. The best. Our summers in Hartsville were filled with warm nights, softball days, and family packed reunions from the farm (uncle callis) to a place picked somewhere close where we could all laugh and play for hours. There was always some new 10th cousin 3 times removed to meet and play with. But at the end of each day, grandmothers house was were I wanted to be. It was small and comfortable, familiar and inviting. Grandmothers house always smelled so good like a faint smell of her quick perfume or hairspray on a head full of curls before running out the door. She always used to ask me if all her curls were place as she held up her white flowery handheld mirror to look at the back of her hair in her bedroom mirror. I would always tell her how beautiful she looks and I always admired her for never leaving the house without looking her very best. My grandmothers hugs were always so soft and felt like a warm homemade afgan wrappped from head to toe. She never forgot a birthday. Each of her 19 grandkids were never forgotten and were guaranteed to receive a birthday card in the mail with a hand written letter or note about how great they are and how much she loves and misses them. Each one is a saved treasure of mine as if they are gold. I often go into my treasure box and escape into her words and her memory. I can not wait until I get to be wrapped in her arms again and smell that sweet perfume and have her ask me if her curls are all in place. I hope each day that she is proud of me and helps me to choose the way back to her. I love you grandma. You are missed.

Easter and Other Firsts

For Easter this year, we went over to Avery's brother's house and watched Nyla's cousins and their neighbor friends kids look for easter treats throughout each front yard. Vegas sucks in this way because there are literally no yards to play in. The front yards are larger than the backyards and consist of MAYBE 15 square feet and that is if you are lucky. Anywho, Nyla went and watched all the kids run around without her. She didn't get to wear her Easter dress because it was too cold. So I took the opportunity to dress her up the day before. We did get to watch conference with some or Desiree's friends and it was nice to just relax and feel the spirit. Nyla slept through conference just like her Mommy used to.

I took Nyla to the park for the first time a few weeks ago. We went with Shanna, Sierra, & Aspen. Shanna insisted that we put Nyla in the swing and see how she likes it. From that face, assumed she loved it. That is the biggest smile I have ever seen on her. I guess I should take her out more often.

Nyla has decided that her Tummy Time mat is too slippery to lay on. She gets frustrated because she can't get her feet to grip the ground. She has decided the toys are useful though so she is going to use it to lift weights.

Let's Rewind

It has been quite some time since I posted anything on here. There is so much I need to catch up on. I think about it all the time. Nyla is growing so fast; it is difficult to keep up with her. I wish I had more time to keep a journal of every little cute things she does. I guess blogging will have to do. At least it is somewhat a history of things anyway and what better way than to share it will all the people I love the most!

Let's rewind:

January 2010: Everyone knows how much Avery LOVES Star Wars right. I don't even think LOVES is a strong enough word. Anyway, when Nyla was about 1 month old, she started crying at about 5pm everyday for no apparent reason. I guess this is fairly normal. One night, I was especially busy with homework and asked Avery to take her and try to comfort her. He takes her downstairs where he is preparing some dinner and starting a movie...you guessed it...Star Wars, da.da.da STAR WARS, da.da.da-Da! Hilariously enough, Nyla was having one her screaming fits until the moment when the London Phil Harmonic fills our family room from wall to wall on every single surround sound speaker. She immediatly stops crying and stares at the TV just in time for Avery to bust up laughing and exclaim to her "Oh, I see you are a fan already!" (his heart palpitates) A true Poliak from the very get go.

February 2010: Something else that is funny about Nyla: She has to stretch every morning. Seriously. I keep her in a swaddler to keep her arms from disturbing her. Otherwise, she gets frustrated at whoever's arms keep wacking her in the face while she is trying to sleep. So, each time I undo the swaddler, she raises her arms WAAAAy above her head and stretches her little legs, toes pointing as far as she can point. She has actually gotten to the point where if you say "streeeeetch" to her, she will raise her arms above her head and then look at you like "ok, I'll do it but I already did my stretches for the day". So cute and soooo smart.

Nyla's Blessing

Avery gave the most amazing, sweet blessing to Nyla on Valentines Day 2010. I wish I could record things like that. Nyla was so serene afterwards that she fell asleep in my arms; something she never did! She wore the same blessing dress that I was blessed in and it fit her perfectly. She looked like a little angel. However, her head is so small and tiny, that her headband made her look like Rambo. :) Mine and Avery's entire family was there to see her. It was so nice to have them all in one place and to share in something so special.

"Hi"

March 2010: Nyla's first word. I laugh because, she doesn't do it very often but I could have swore she said "Hi". The little spit coming out of her mouth makes it that much more funny.

Holding Hands

April 2010: Nyla has started to grab and touch everything. Sometimes, if she can't grab it, she is just happy to touch and feel it. Whether it be with her hands or her feet, she wants to know what everything feels like. The walls, the couch, the paper sitting next to you. One afternoon while Cadie and Whit were over visiting, we sat the babies up right facing each other. Nyla was very curious about chubby little Whit. She sat there for a few seconds before reaching out for him. Out of everything she could have grabbed on him, she took his tiny hand in hers and just held it for about 15 seconds. It was the cutest thing ever. I wish I had had my camera handy.

Nyla Irene Poliak

Born December 3, 2009

5 lbs 10 oz. 18 inches

Fat Pics & Pregnancy Update

27 Weeks & 29 Weeks
Ok so not much is showing but you can tell I am getting fat. Especially in my face. I am pretty sure my face is the pregnancy and my stomach is just there for convenience.


30 Weeks. Not much changed except my hideous complexion and my new pooh bear cheeks.


33 Weeks. So you knew Avery could not go this whole time and resist taking naked pictures. I left out the porn shots. They are worth money and I don't need those porn companies knocking on my door making offers... seeings how I am so hot right now.

37 Weeks. Oh..there she is! She finally decided to show up mmmmbout 3 weeks before the due date. I was tempted to crop my face out of this one but I guess it can be recorded that pregnancy makes some people hideous for a second. I actually gave up trying to look remotely decent. I stopped looking in the mirror about a week ago. So hopefully these are the last pregnancy pics I will take. I am also hoping to deliver early as she has dropped completely into my pelvic girdle and is making it difficult to walk around. Doc said the baby's head is "one knuckle" in!!! Yikes. Does that mean she can just swim out with the breakage of my water? I've seen it on TV and TV never lies.

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In all seriousness, we are getting pretty excited and nervous at the same time. I actually think the anxiety about labor has settled in. Is there a drug that makes it so you can leave your body and then be able to stand in the room and become one of the cheerleaders? Kinda like an out of body experience? Oh...that's right, its called CRACK. Ok, I guess I will settle for the epidural martini with a local skewer to garnish. This is not an after dinner party people! This is life in it's most gruesome beauty.

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Wish us luck! (or at least me because we all know Avery will be in the corner with his DS volume muted and giving me the courteous "you're doing great baby, keep it up. Just let me know when I can cut the 'unbiblical' cord.") ;) I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW AVERY!

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Ok. So her face is showing here. Look at the picture with your head tilted to the right. Or imagine turning the picture one position counterclockwise. Her chin is pointing towards the left side of the picture and her forehead is pointing towards the right side. THERE SHE IS! She was moving so much, it was hard to get a clear picture of her. But I did see her face this time. She also kept putting her little hands and arms in front of her face and refused to move them. Then she wrapped her legs up toward the ultrasound wand and started kicking outward. It was almost like she was so irritated that we were there.

So, this one actually looks human. At least from this side shot. Look at her little hand. We had a really hard time seeing what gender she was because she kept putting her leg and foot over the image below. Our tech had to bounce her around to get the shot. She eventually started kicking the annoying bumping thing back. It was so cute. We could see the extension of her knee and calf as it swung back. But at last we got the see the two little slits she was trying so desperately to keep private. Poor baby.

There it is in all its glory!

Sitting On Top of the World with Your Legs Hangin Free

Happy Birthday Avery!!!

Avery & Seth went to Disney Land for Avery's birthday this year. Every kid's dream come true.

And of course they came back with a huge bag of candy.

...and couldn't leave there without first making a sand castle.



Love those boys!

Oh!

PREGGERS!

Avery and I are proud to announce that a new addition will be joining us in December! Yeah! We are so excited and can't wait for our family to continue to grow!!

1 Year Coming Up :)

A year is about to come up soon and I remember what I read and I strive to apply daily. My dear wife Molliana; One year ago, the strong feelings of love I have for you. Only when we love God above all others, as the Savior taught, will we be capable of offering pure, Christlike love to our companions for all eternity. / Quoted from a Union of Love!

Happy NEW YEAR!!!

So this is my family on my DH side. We went to a reunion during the holidays. We were able to see 50 of our relatives. We're all wearing shirts made for us for the reunion. They represent the number of our place in the family. People who have left our family had a number but no shirt was made of course.
Only 2 didn't show on purpose because they were with their other family and couldn't be present.
There were 2 of my cousins on their missions who were also unable to attend. The one in Canada, the other in Louisiana. They however are represented in the picture (they're the cardboard cutouts)
It was so nice to be around family again. Its like they understand you...or have to understand you hahahaha!

Niece & Nephews... new pics :)

This is baby Sean..had to update my post to include him :)



This is my niece Zoey she turned 5 today...can you believe it? This is a new dress she got...isn't it cute :)


Opps another of my nephews Jacob needed to be shown also :) Oh my gosh if he ever grows his hair out long he will really look Steve :) (this is my sister-inlaw, Stephanie's child and well she looks a lot like Steve only female but shorter hair then him)

50 true things about me...

1. I love my husband too much I think... if he were to die I would be completely devastated & that scares me sometimes

2. I am happy a lot

3. I have really good friends

4. I'm 33 years old

5. I LOVE CHEESE

6. I love watching hockey

7. I have season tickets to the SHARKS

8. I am usually very friendly

9. People like to talk to me...I mean like strangers ask me questions. Maybe because I seem friendly

10. I like to play craps more then anything when I go to gamble

11. I only call my mom about once a week

12. I'm original from a small town in MN

13. I now live in San Jose CA

14. I LOVE CA

15. I like to go hiking with friends

16. I LOVE the color purple - before it was in!

17. I like glittery or sparkly dresses or accessories

18. I value the opinions of my friends.... I don't always listen but I do value their opinions

19. I donate to charity

20. I'm a member of KIVA

21. I have 3 savings accounts...it helps me manage my money best

22. I have been married for 12 years

23. I have a BMW... it was always my dream car, I always thought I would have "made" it by owning one

24. I've seen less then 20 concerts in my life

25. I get migraines regularly

26. I have been trying to train for a 10K run... I haven't done much yet to be honest

27. I've lost 91 pounds

28. I'm still doing WW (Weight Watchers)

29. I am still overweight by about 80 pounds

30. I am Mormon

31. I attend church practically every Sunday

32. I've been inside 5 different temples... Mesa, Oakland, San Diego, Dallas & Seattle (opps forgot one)

33. I want a dog... but my husband will not let me get one

34. I want to go horseback riding again

35. I upset easily

36. I love to watch high school drama type shows on tv

37. I'm very impulsive

38. I've traveled more then I ever thought I would

39. I come from a poor family

40. I went to New Orleans only a year before Katrina... thankful I took the city, cemetery, plantation & bayou tour while there

41. I've been to Mardi Gras

42. I plan on going to Spain next summer

43. A lot of movies make me cry

44. I miss my sister terribly... I try calling her almost every 2 days

45. I use to play WOW (World of Warcraft)

46. I love meeting new people

47. I like going out to eat

48. My house is messy and so I have maids

49. I love that my husband has a big extended family

50. I don't want to have children... but I wouldn't mind maybe having foster kids (my husband doesn't know this)

Fun with Grandma in the Park

TWINS!!!

I'm an Aunt again :)

My nephew was born this morning @ 9:05. Weighing in at 5lbs 4oz.
His name is Jonhanthan Steven.
Yep his middle name comes from my DH! Steve's sister asked while she was out here for his birthday if it was alright to use his name.

Can't wait to see the newest addition to the family. I think we're going to Disneyland in Dec. If not Christmas time. So 2 months.

Anyway just wanted to fill you all in.

Life score 7.8!!! Above average :)

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.8
Mind:	6.5
Body:	6.8
Spirit:	8.4
Friends/Family:	6.9
Love:	9.1
Finance:	8.8
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